You might be wondering why the red suit. Well, that’s so bad guys don’t see me bleed.”

“You’re probably thinking, ‘My boyfriend said this was a superhero movie, but that guy in the red suit just turned that other guy into a fucking kebab!’ Well, I may be super, but I’m no hero.”

Deadpool: “And you are?”

Negasonic Teenage Warhead: “Negasonic Teenage Warhead.”

Deadpool: “Negasonic Teenage… what the shit? That’s the coolest name ever!”

Wade: “What is that?”

Weasel: “That’s the shit emoji. You know the turd with the smiling face and the eyes? I thought it was chocolate yogurt for so long.”

Deadpool: “I’ve been traveling to exotic places, Baghdad, Mogadishu, Jacksonville, meeting new and exciting people.”

Weasel: “And killing them, I know, I saw your Instagram.”

Wade Wilson: “Listen, I’ve been thinking.”

Vanessa Carlysle: “Really?”

Wade Wilson: “About why we’re so good together.”

Vanessa Carlysle: “Why is that?”

Wade Wilson: “Well, your crazy matches my crazy, big time.”